Life Abundant

I came that they may have life and have it abundantly. (John 10)

This semester, I am learning how to live.

I would like to think that after seven whole semesters of college, the eighth one would go smoothly. I would hope that I have this whole college thing figured out, and that I know how to "do" college. I think every college kid wants to arrive at the end of their four years and feel as if they accomplished something, and that they were successful.

But I don't feel that way. In fact, I feel as if I am stumbling and dragging myself to the end of senior year more bruised and beaten than I've been any other year of college. My schedule is full, Anatomy and Physiology has revealed some of the worst parts of me, and I feel exhausted. I don't think this is because I haven't grown academically, or because I have somehow regressed since I came to school. I think that I am learning how to live, and that requires trials and crosses and a lot of tears.

Travis talks a lot about truly living instead of just responding to our circumstances. (I learn lots from him, and I'm glad that I get to marry him and keep learning from him for a long time.) I am such a responder. Something comes into my life, and I react according to how I feel about it, whether that be disappointment or anger or excitement. But maybe living looks like accepting and receiving every moment as a gift from God that is part of a bigger story that I can't see. I think that living occurs in the midst of a seemingly chaotic day-to-day life when we believe that God is doing something greater than we can see. And it is beautiful.

This doesn't mean that we accept every bad grade or difficult situation with an exuberant proclamation of God's goodness. I think living means that we take every moment and look for reasons to praise God within them, or even despite them. When I am upset, I wrongly think I am happiest if I remain wallowing and complaining and wrapped up in my own difficulties. But that is never true, and I discover that over and over again. I am actually happiest when I look outside of myself to the world around me, and remember that there is, in fact, so much to be grateful for.

This isn't an easily-learned lesson for me. I am just beginning to learn it. But life is better when it is lived, and I intend to work hard for the rest of my life to learn how to live in the fulness of God's grace and glory.

And I'm not counting down the days until graduation. I want to live every single one.