I don't know how to read.

I'm learning that this semester. Maybe someday I'll know how to read well. But right now, I'm content to continue learning that I simply don't know how to read. I'm sitting here going word-by-word through a short soliloquy from King Claudius in Shakespeare's Hamlet. Every time I read it again, I discover something new that I never noticed. Something new that reveals Claudius' beliefs, morals, struggles, questions, or worldview. And then, when I find them, they simply raise more questions about the play, more questions about his character, and more questions about life and what it means to live well.

I love this. I love this feeling of helplessness in front of such a brilliant text. Yes, I am striving hard to understand it, but it won't come easily. I think I will be reading this play for years. And maybe even then I won't yet know how to read a book. But that's okay. All I have to do as I learn is wonder at the book. Dennis Quinn wrote of wonder as something that keeps one "inquiring, proposing theories, and asking questions." I want to do that when I read this play. He also wrote that when something is wonderful, it is "of such a greatness as to baffle the mind." Shakespeare does that, too.

So, I'm content to sit here and wonder at this play. I'm starting to see it, but it will be a long process. And I love it.